Thanks for your post - that is a good way of looking at it. My sister says the same thing, in a way, that it is my W who is pushing this, and so I feel run over, and so need to be more proactive.
I just had a very good talk with d16 about this whole business. She said she would be coming home on the weekends from Stockholm, that we could do the Wednesday evening dinner thing, that she wants to get a really good grade in IB (required to get into her dream school), that I could spend longer in the States than usual and get to be with people that way, and that she and I could skype to stay in touch. I told her that I always looked forward to hearing her come home, to hear her poking around, that she is the most important girl in my life, and that my R with her is very important to me, etc. She then spontaneously proposed going to Japan over fall break, though saying she might have to study too.
So a plan seems to be emerging, sketchily:
o I go to States for say 2 months this time around (my boss will love that), and so get to be with people every day o we skype during that time o d16 and I travel to Japan over fall break, which happens to be the fall color season there (I am from New England and always miss not being there then) o we have dinner, she and I, Wednesdays and that I will see her weekends
This seems a good short term solution; for later, who knows - as she said, we can't predict the future, so let's not worry about it.