Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[BigMac]

So, this morning I was going for a bit of understanding of the path that the W took on the way out.

I can see so many of my own problems causing this. Two weeks before she left for school, I got really drunk, and I embarrassed her. I had a huge PTSD activation (blowout) and had to have a friend come talk me down. I hurt her emotionally. Two weeks later she had to move away for school.

I can see in our history, how she was trying, but really depressed (as was I).
One month later, her project time started at school and she totally withdrew.
One month after that, you can see her attraction starting to the OP, the flirting.
Except in this case, she was living in a hotel in another town for work.

She pressured me into "open relationship" not because of her wanting me to get my "Mojo" back (that was her excuse) but really to have an excuse for the feelings and or actions that she was taking.

So, now. She has cleaned me out of her Instagram (at least the recent pictures of 2014). She has unfriended me on foursquare, and doesn't follow me on twitter.

My gut feel is that she just was hurting inside when she saw me, but maybe she didn't want people to see that she had a man. (she "accidentally" left her wedding ring at home on a work trip the beginning of May.

Sorry for the ramble everyone, i'm just putting stuff together and getting visibility.

1. My instability and neediness was more then she could handle during her own journey.
2. I wasn't there for her to be "her rock" which I was for our entire relationship
3. She made a choice, but my actions drove her away.
4. My avoiding treating my PTSD stuff (I was so afraid of facing that) made it so we couldn't communicate, and made it so she had to deal with my blow ups.

This is my fault. I probably will never get my marriage back, and I need to accept that.

It [censored] when you realize, that there wasn't an evil ex, when it was just you being broken....