Okay, just when I think I'm in the clear to detaching he starts sh*t!
I was finally in a good place...not feeling defeated, hopeless, scared. Then he calls me, leaves a message for me to call him back. Few minutes later he texts me asking for me to call him back. So when I call him back he attacks me. WTH? The first thing out of his mouth was "What are you trying to do? I mean, what are you to up?" There was no hi, hello...he just started in on me and of course I'm flabbergasted and asked what he was referencing to.
Before I get into convo allow me to provide some background info. We signed a contract for a new build in March. In May he dropped the bomb on me and a week later furnished me with S papers. I have yet to sign but am considering it post-lawyer appt. He opens himself an individual account, takes all but 10% of money in our joint savings and transferred it to his new acct. He says eventually he will stop his direct deposit and remove his name from the joint. He has stopped the direct deposit but still has full access to the joint acct. This did not bother me because this is the acct that's being used for income verification by the lender--the history is with the joint acct. So before we can get a final loan approval we will have to provide a 30-day bank statement.
I'm in San Diego visiting family. He calls me to chew me out about how I'm spending my money. This has happened before and I didn't think anything of it but now it's getting ridiculous. It's so very one-sided. He gets to see all my expenses and feels justified to get pissy about what I'm spending my money on but yet he's the one who decided that what he does with his money is not my business. Double standard? I didn't react of course. Instead I acknowledge his frustration and thanked him for being honest and sharing. He calmed down eventually. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place right now. Not sure if it would be wise to remove my name from the joint acct. and have my own acct just like he did or would this be perceived as "adding a nail to the coffin." Delicate situation...please chime in. What's going on with him and how do I get him off my back?
