I would not push her to fast. When my WAW came home I found that she would give an inch and I would ask for two. If she felt I was taking things to fast she would freak and withdraw.
Even one time accused me of being shallow and only interested in her for her looks and body. This was because she accidentally walked out of the bathroom in her thong and bra and like an idiot I said " you don't have to be afraid to let me see you like that"
Last edited by Oxford1; 07/12/1402:39 PM.
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
Last night W asked me out to a late movie and even drove 40 minutes to see it my town.
We had a great time laughing, joking, and hugging. The hard part is kissing her goodnight and watching her drive off into the night.
Today she came back over. We watched the World Cup and ended up making out on the couch like teenagers for an hour. This let into the bedroom and we ML. Wow! Afterwards we laid there and held each other and I stroked her hair.
We are definitely in the honeymoon stage, I don't want it to end! I'm riding high on endorphins!
I helped her pack some things for her new apartment to take with her. That was really hard for me but I maintained a good demeanor. She keeps talking about how hopeful she is for us. As long as we take it slow and keep working on ourselves, I am hopeful as well.
The only hard part is watching her drive off. I get this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wish I could just hold her in my arms forever!
She texted me when she got home and said she couldn't stop smiling. I miss her already but realize the space is good for us. It gives us the chance to miss each other and realize the importance of each other in our lives.
I've also really practiced validation with her. No longer am I offering advice or my opinion unless she asks. I really think she is noticing because she had made comments about how different I am. I simply mirror back what she tells me and if she's struggling with something, I say "wow, that sounds really hard to deal with". She's even brought up things that I did that bothered her before the bomb and DONT defend myself like I used to. I say "that must have been so hard for you". I see the relief in her face when I acknowledge her feelings without trying to talk her out of them.
Now dump her! Hahah, just kidding. Great job Thorn!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
And yea, watching her drive away from the evening is hard to do, yet it isn't as hard as watching her drive off without plans of coming back now is it ???
Focus on what is good, rather than what is hard.
And while your past does not define your future, you cannot forget the road that you have taken to get to this point...
Live your changes, and strive EVERY DAY to be the person that attracted her once again...
Keep working on yourself, every day....
Your future is as bright, or as dim, as your actions dictate...
