Forgot to say when h dropped off son after the movie, we had a brief chat about the night, pleasant nothing in particular said, as he was going he thanked me and gave me a hug. Sent me a text when he got home thanking me again and that he really enjoyed spending one on one time with our son. I replied it was my pleasure and that I was also glad he got to spend some time with eldest son. Thank I handled it ok...
Struggling a little this morning, I know h is off to Melbourne for a couple of days, and staying at a hotel, he's watching the footy tomorrow afternoon, which leaves tonight. I haven't asked who he's going with or who he's meeting, normally I would have asked 50 thousand questions and still wouldn't be satisfied with the answers. I have clients this morning, and the boys are home, so this keeps me pretty occupied, it's just those moments when you picture what they're doing...just thought about the big red stop sign!!! Must visualize this A LOT!
My therapist gave me a laminated credit card sized STOPP sign that I keep in my wallet. I haven't had to use it for a couple of weeks now though :-)
I can't get into the footie at all this world cup (I presume you're talking world cup not AFL - Cats fan if that's the case), I haven't watched much at all. I had Australia in the sweepstake. Tim Cahill (& Luca Neill) used to play for my team over here in the England a few years ago.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Odsnt, he's going to watch the a) AFL, essendon. He's just been and gone, dropped off the dog, he's had a shave, looks amazing, trying to visualize the stop sign, don't think about what he's doing, who he may be going with...Not really working right now, wanting to cry, this is really hard, but I did manage say to him, have a good time, and I almost meant it lol. Come on watto14 pull it together, you can do this.
So first time I've heard from h since he left yesterday, I sent him a text last night from the boys saying goodnight, no response and lind of didn't expect one. He tang tonight to say goodnight to the boys, the twins were already in bed and the eldest was complaining of a tummy ache, so he said he'd talk to them tomorrow, he's staying an extra night in the city, I didn't ask where and who with,,and also didn't ask what he did last night, big deal for me, I'm doing my very best not to think about what he's doing, he sounded tired, I simply said have a good night and good bye, hung up....any input from anyone???
My W has been off visiting an old school friend all weekend. I only get home at the weekend, so I didn't see her at all. I didn't manage have a good weekend before and I didn't ask how it went afterwards even though I wanted to do both. I know she will have discussed our sitch with her friend this weekend like she has with a couple of her other friends a couple of weekends ago. It's so hard to detach and not wonder what they said, who they're with or what they're doing, but that's what you have to do. If you read everyone's thread it looks like it gets easier with time but, yeah it's hard. GAL should help. I know I can do this and I know you can do this.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
H came around tonight, to watch the boys while I went to my first pole dancing class. The class was so much fun, definitely out of my comfort zone, the teacher actually said I was a natural, I'm almost sure that was a compliment lol H looked great when he walked in the door, the kids were excited to their dad, I'd had an average day with the boys and though I was trying really hard to remain happy and upbeat,the strain was pretty obvious H told me to go and forget about the kids for the hour and enjoy myself. When I got back we had quick chat about the kids, I let him tell me about how he broke his ne phone, and he told a little bit about when he went to the casino, how he is being more of a 'responsible gambler'(is there such a thing) I didn't do what I normally do and chastise him, there's a 180 right there. Then he said he was going as he wanted to go up to one of the clubs and play the pokies, again I said nothing, I transferred over his pay into his aaccount and as he was going I said to him it's good to see you, catch you later, he actually initiated a hug and a kiss on the lips, this didn't happen even a week ago, so Yay for small steps
Watto, it sounds like you are seeing some positive changes! Good job not commenting on the the things you would have before. Hang in there. Your doing great!
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
thanks heart14, I actually feel pretty good right now, its interesting to note the ages of the possible mlc's on here, quite a few seem to be in the 30's age bracket, I though I was just fishing originally, grasping at straws, but a lot of h's behaviours in the past couple of years are definitely mlc, the gambling, drinking, secretive behaviours, new clothes, ILYBIMNILWY, ow, I know I played a big part in the demise of our m, but looking now, with less emotion, I can see the definite mlc signs. so I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing, see what works, and what doesn't. it really was nice to see him tonight, makes me smile on the inside
