I remember one time standing on the side of the road crying to h while s raged in the car. I didn't expect him to do anything. I just wanted emotional support from someone who I thought loved me and was also the only other person in the world who cared about s as much as I did. When I got home that day he gave me a big hug and let me cry and took over with s for the rest of the night.
Been there, done that. It's so much easier with a partner who understands and supports you. Reach out here Julie. There are lots of moms and dads of special needs here. We get how hard it is. Really. But, believe me, I know how hard it is to have the support and, then, poof, it's gone. Smokey was always a little wishy-washy with his support, but it was better than nothing.
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After BD he told me that he hated when I called him to "complain" about s and mentioned that particular day as an example of my weakness and inability to "handle" s properly.
Nothing worse then hearing how something you experienced as a sign of your love, get used against you when it suits him. It's not fair. He's digging Julie...and, he's having to dig deep to find fault...take it as a compliment. Seriously, who criticizes a mom dealing with a meltdown? Not me.
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Memories like that make me hate him and miss him terribly at the same time. This s@cks.
Yes it does, but you can rebuild support system outside of him. It's not what you wanted...I know, me either. But, you can find women and men, like myself, who understand.
Does your friend on this trip understand the stress of the car ride? Will you get something of a break when you get there?
Be kind to yourself.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
