The OM is coming back to the USA, She tried to get him to not come. He demanded yes demanded that he is coming and she should see him. The plan is to meet him in public open areas together and not drive in the same car etc. These plans were made through the MC and relayed to me. The only thing that upset me was she is going to see him on the weekends too. she says only for a few hours and it will be in the middle of the day.
I do't want to come off controlling or be a Deek Head. I am not happy at all with this. She has committed that there will be no tome alone and wont even know where he is staying. I want to trust her but a little birdie keeps telling me not to.
She also says that this is when she is going to tell him that she has no plans of traveling to see him nor of having him come back here. That she has reapetedly told him that as long as my S16 lives at home she will not do anything again that can hurt him.
So I asked if this is still because she has a 2 year plan. She said no, she really wants to stay married. She feels we have rebuilt ourselves and our marriage. she is just not ready to give up the OM. She feels a connection there is something about him his soul (even the MC believes she is one of those woman who falls for her priest, reverend , rabbi, whatever). My only mistake was pointing out to her that all people in affairs have this "Soulmate" concept.
SO I am writing this little confessional because I am angry and glad at the same time. The MC says if I stay calm and allow this and the WW is true to her word then this could all lead to a demise in the affair.
I am just frustrated that she seems afraid to hurt him, afraid to tell him that he should leave after a few days. I asked her is it that you dont want to or your afraid.
She said, she feels bad for him, he has given up a lot of friends to be with her. When he is not working with a tour group he has nothing to do but sit around his apartment...WHY IS THIS HER Concern?
I confronted her that she seems less willing to hurt him than me...She said that I am wrong all of this is hurting her.
So on one hand she says she has fallen back in love with me, but on the other she feels that even asking her to break contact with OM is controlling...
