Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[BigMac]

Mr Bond - So, we both lost about 100 lbs each 3 years ago or so. She got plastic surgery (new boobs, fixed a lazy eye, and dental surgery in 2011. She had a kidney fail in 2012, and then got new skills and a job. the first half of 2014

Yes, she was severely depressed (as was I) during the downward spiral, and I guess that she is still depressed now (I know I am). The worst part is, after 3 weeks of her not coming home, and not communicating at all with me I stood up and said "I love you so much, and I deserve to be loved. I am going on the road for 3 weeks for work anyways, and I am leaving you so we can figure this stuff out). She had said some amazingly hurtful things right before, and I just wanted her to love me.

For the 14 years of our relationship, I had always been the rock. I had always been the one to be there for her when she had a hard time. I always got us through it. I wasn't there that time. I was weak.

She came out to the car, threw the key away and held me as I sobbed for 3 hours in her arms. She showed me love, but I think I pushed her over the edge and into the arms of a new job and an exciting new man, place or thing.

She dropped the bomb on me roughly 3 weeks later, after a decent into madness of pressuring me to sleep with other women (in the name of her wanting my Mojo back). I think she was just trying to get me to take the first shot across the bow so she wouldn't have guilt for doing the same.

When we first met she was a single mom, high school dropout when we met (she was 18, I was 19). I took her in and started caretaking (co-dependant bullshit). So, she never really had a chance to stand for herself. She has always acted like a teenager financially, and decision wise. And I wasn't wise enough to realize that I just needed to back up and let her make her own mistakes and she would grow.

Now, I keep classifying this as a MLC / WAW. Do you guys not think this is a MLC?
She has been not mean to me lately (at least the past 6 weeks) Though she has been only sporadically reaching out. I am so confused, I just want my best friend back. I want my family back together. I want a chance to get it right again.

I am working on myself, detaching as a seriously co-dependant spouse has been one of the hardest things ever, but I am working super hard to do it. I am getting a life. I am taking flight lessons, friends are teaching me to swing dance, I have been traveling, and I'm really doing an OK job at being a father to my son (my daughter has withdrawn, and I'm trying my best there too).

It is really hard. I am very thankful for this board, and the DB coaches. I don't trust myself to make decisions right now, and I appreciate all the guidance I can get.