Dealing with WAW Part 2

[pilot]

Brilliant as always sandi. I think I am on pretty solid ground as far as giving her the impression I am already moving on, and not looking back (hence my apprehension of wanting to know the proper way of making the path clear without screwing up my efforts thus far). Sometimes I worry if my efforts have given too clear of that message.

I am definitely in the poker game right now. When we see each other swapping the kids, I am happy, outgoing, PMA, dressed well, looking fit, and all the good things you try and show when you are first dating. I am not overbearing, I do not initiate conversations nor let them drag. I always answer pleasantly and with a smile. So basically our face to face interactions have been nothing but positive. She compliments me a lot as well. She has gone as far as 'following' me at the good bye time and initiating hugs and not wanting to let go. I play it off as James Bond would. Hah. This past week she had been very aggressive in texting me...really about nothing important, just the casual benign conversations. That of course stopped after my 5 year old blurted out we were meeting a friend. So who knows how she took that. Now if she only knew what was REALLY going on in my head.... But I attribute the success of our interactions to my detachment. I really think I did well on that...especially given where I used to be.

I just do not want to be 'overly cautious' and give the wrong signal. In other words, if she is skittish, I do not want to spook her into thinking there is NO chance. I want her to know there IS a chance, but it will not be a simple 'hey im back, lets be like it was'. So for that reason I do plan on making her be the one to initiate R talk first. Then I will listen to what she has to say. But I would love to have constant feedback from those who see things from different angles as myself along the way to ensure I stay on the most effective path possible.

What is going to possibly throw a wrench into the gears of all of this is the kids school year and where they will be living. We absolutely have to have this conversation soon as the school year is approaching and my 5 year old has to be enrolled somewhere. I spoke to the school she wants to send him to and it is nothing more than a glorified daycare. A prek3-k5 church where they stick them in one room for the whole day...giving lessons till noon then letting them free play for the rest of the day. When my son was 4 at his school last year they had separate classrooms for art, spanish, PE, music, library, lego robotics, and theater. I am working to get him into a school with comparable curriculum near me right now. So since she has already stated she wants to remain where she is, and neither of us wants to be away from the kids, it means one of us has to move. I always said that I will go wherever we can offer the kids the best education and living situation. The kids will have grandparents at either place, so that cancels out. One of us will have to find a new job so that cancels out. Her job is a night job so she would not see the kids much anyways, where as I have much greater freedom in my scheduling so I can drop the kids off, as well as pick them up, and spend the evenings with them. Ultimately it comes down to the better schools are here. And she may not be able to move here financially. Then again, I may not be able to move there financially. So it has to come down to what is best for the kids. This will be an interesting conversation to say the least.