I just wanted to make sure I was able to ensure she knew there was a path back in the first place.
I don't know that you should, at least until you know a lot more. You can keep your own doorsteps cleaned off (if you know what I mean) and not get into another R or complication that would hinder things if she wanted to reconcile. But I wouldn't be telling her that's what you're doing.
The way I see it is the more she is assured she can have you back whenever "she" chooses......the easier it is for her to stay undecided, play games, keep you dangling on the end of a line, etc. Why would she feel the need to work to catch you if she knows she can have you whenever she gets ready? I maintain that if WAW's who have been in an A were not so sure their H would even want them back again......or were concerned someone else might replace her in his life, it would be more effective than all the other things he's tried so hard to do.
Some men make the mistake when she drops the bomb of assuring her he'll always be there and support her no matter what, yadda, yadda. If she is a wayward wife, he shouldn't try to convince her he's going nowhere. He should make her think otherwise. If she thinks he's dumping her (instead of the other way around) it has a way of yanking her out of her fog and quickly seeing what she really wants. But all this other stuff he tries........not so effective. Or, he waits too long and then tries to leave after nothing else has worked, and so it doesn't have the same strength of effectiveness, and in some cases, not any at all. But that's JMO.
The spot you are currently in calls for good poker playing. I have seen others do it right here on this board. So, it can work in your favor. I don't think she's ready yet, but she may be tossing the idea around. And......she is definitely going to check the relationshio temperature or your emotional feelings for her. That's why this calls for a good poker player. Don't give away what you hold in your hands. Make her show her cards.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
