The thing is, he's high up director at fortune 200 company with 100+ employees under him. He does his job well handling all of them, and they seem to respect him, giving him positive reviews, but know he wont hesitate to lay off or fire them, if necessary. That's the type of personality he has.
I know the type well. I own my own company, and we sell to primarily Fortune 500 companies. Some are better than others, and some have massive egos that you just hope one day they will have taken down a few notches.
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He treated D like any other project implementation without consideration for feelings, morals, only cold hard facts and data, as he'd say.
Wow. And I mean WOW. This says a whole lot, CC. And my guess is you're right. It's like he's a robot and refuses to allow his heart to have a say in conflicts with his head. From what you said here, it surely sounds as though you were fired.
I mean I do understand using that part at work. But in marriage? Nope.
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He has moved on to the next "project" --the OW just as he did me in the early days of dating him. He aggressively pursued me, in an organized manner. I probably was a "project" as well, back in 1999 along side his Y2K plan.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! But you realize that OW has an expiration date too, right? Not that it affects you. At least now.
We share something in common. I was kind of a project too - I call it the broken bird syndrome. My XH typically seeks out broken birds so he can "rescue" them. I was only temporarily broken when I met him - I had moved from VA to CA at the age of 26, knew no one, had no support network there, and started over from scratch. My brother went to jail right after I left, and my steady BF at the time and I were having difficulties. I was down in the dumps and experiencing debilitating migraines for the first time. Kinda broken and sad...
He waited years before he got his current GF. She's not necessarily a broken bird in my eyes, but she has a deadbeat XH who doesn't see his girls, and I think he feels a duty to help. I guess he sees me as the stronger person of us two and why help someone like me?
Like you, I've always been pursued and convinced and in the end, have always been the one who's left behind. I'm working on that one in IC right now. It kinda svcks. (Hint: roots in my FOO, where I was taught to give people the benefit of the doubt and allow them to cross across boundaries without consequence.... it's not a pretty thing.)
Good luck!
It's time for you to get a project. It ought to include working on redefining you, one way or another.
Go you!
Betsey
p.s. I consider my 50s to be a no dick zone.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
