If he moves, he moves. I can't stop him. I'll be ok either way. I have friends that I have reconnected with who come by often, I've gotten closer with my neighbors, been meeting new people and doing new things. This is the happiest I have been in a long time. And, we are getting along and he seems to be enjoying my company - something that has not been present for a long while. I'm enjoying the time we do spend, as he's finally stepping up and really digging in the harness to help with the baby so I can go and do things. It's been...awesome.
GAL-ing has been great for me and something I should have done a long time ago.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
PSA to all reading...a friend from my military days killed his wife and then himself yesterday. She was leaving him.
It's not worth it. Their oldest child is 3. Their youngest is 20 months. Middle guy is 2.
It's not worth it. It's never worth it. I don't even have the words. If you are ever contemplating this, reach out for help. Don't bottle it up.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
He has backpeddled, wants to work on the marraige, doesn't want to move or D but...I'm the only one who needs to change?
We can't seem to get along. I'm getting to the point of being done. One person can't work on something and fix the entire problem. He's still in the "junkie" mindset of "I don't have a problem." Supposedly going to counseling July 2, but told me that I'm still the issue and if I would just stop being a b***h, then we wouldn't have ANY problems. NONE.
I've withdrawn from him a lot. I am meeting with my atty today to see where I would go from here if pushing forward. I have not called Laurie to do any DB coaching, because I'm not really sure I don't want a D. There are many more people out there, and I know there has to be one who will treat me better.
I wanted to save this at first, but now I'm leaning more to ending it and walking away, even if he wants to save it. He's back to "forgetting" to pay bills, but he managed to pay for all his world cup related expenses. I've reminded him 3 times about his bills, as I get the reminders. Now, I no longer remind him when his bills are due. There are plenty of e-mails, text messages etc. telling him what is owed and when it is due. He owes me about $1000 right now for home insurance, half of bills for June and half of medical expenses for our daughter. He owes about that much on his past due bills. Yet he managed to pay to have his passport expedited, $190 for a tourist visa, etc. etc.
There are guys interested in me, but I have not reciprocated my thoughts to them, even though I am curious about them.
I think I'm also beginning to understand what a WAW is thinking when she leaves.
I have made a lot of progress with regards to my anger management. He has made none towards his, and won't find another counselor who can see him sooner, nor will he see mine. They are all "against" him already because supposedly I've lied to them about him, so they are carrying around some sort of prejudice.
I have no sanctuary in my home. He's always there. I can only hope that he wants to go somewhere else sometime soon, so that I can have the house to myself, invite friends over to hang out and just relax.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
Things are still up and down... He is now refusing to change saying there is nothing wrong with him.
Verbal abuse has escalated. He's currently in Brazil, on a guys trip to the world cup (which he cannot afford. However, all his friends are millionaires, so of course he has to keep up appearances.)
He will not be honest about how much he spent in total, but on airfare alone it was over $2000. We have NEVER EVER taken a nice trip like that. I am extremely hurt. Before he left, he called me a B* told me if I wasn't such a horrible b* that we'd go on trips like that. Told me he'd rather spend time with his friends than with me any day of the week, and that's why he was going with them.
He called me last night, and I was quiet. I am hurt every time he tells me what a great time he's having. He went off when I said I would like to get off the phone, and called me a f-ing b*, and kept saying f* you, you've treated me horribly and expect me to want to be with you etc. etc.
He always apologizes, and says nobody deserves to be treated that way, but like a typical abuser - he tells me I caused him to speak to me like that.
Yeah, it's been bad. It's really got me down in the dumps. I was doing well, and doing my own thing. He finds some way to make me feel like I'm not worth it. I'm trying my hardest to live in my head and self talk - tell myself he's wrong - but it's not easy.
I don't know how to stop it. I can't move out. He won't move out. Walking away when he starts - he follows. Hanging up the phone just ticks him off more, and I hear it when he gets to the house. It's become a constant in my life instead of just a here and there type deal. His friends, of course, have labeled me as the problem and are telling him he's right about me. Some friends.
He went to a counselor, came back telling me she was "siding" with him, and that I'm always going to find something wrong with him (HUH?) and that it will never end. That I will always keep him from doing fun things (again WHAT? He's the one who has been on MULTIPLE guys trips!)
I'm dropping the rope. It's no fun to live like this. I cannot change him, and he refuses to see that he has some major verbal abuse issues to deal with.
I'm trying to get back to reading the boards more, and hope to start commenting on more threads. If nothing else, it keeps my mind busy.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
