Finally! Some progress!

[nit84]

Thornton,

Thanks for responding!! TBH I am getting back to that guy I was way back. At least my friends and family think so, W not so much.

Maybe she does see it but blows it off and says things like "I am so glad you are getting yourself right. I wish you no ill will."

She knows I love her because I told her last week after our support hearing that If she was in an A(she doesn't admit)if she quit it and went NC with OM then and it was her desire we could work on things because I still love you. (huge backslide on my part I know).

Confusing thing is this past Sunday after not talking to me for a week because she said I am "dead to her". She asked about bill statements because she wanted to pay her back payments.

The conversation went on from there and while it was taking place. W mentions some stuff out of the blue that caught me off guard and confused me.

First of all, I thought she was moving out after the hearing, she now has hinted that she might be staying but says I will live my existence in this room while she lives hers in that room. It doesn't matter either way to me if she goes or stays.

Then she brings up the baby issue again, but the one comment that most confused me the most was her saying that people have asked her a couple times if I ever said I love you, please lets work on this,lets go to counseling anything but D.

W says " you did none of that, you just said this will financially ruin you."

I responded with "for 2 months before S I asked for counseling and you said no. Specifically, the day you are recalling I said this will be emotional devastating and it very hard financially for both of us. I don't want a D."

W said Monday after the hearing was the first time in 1 year you said I love you to me.

I told her "because you already knew I loved you there is no reason to tell you over and over again because that would be smothering and that is something you complained about."

I have a fear of flying but was always going up with my Dad when he was a flight instructor when I was young.

I was thinking of taking flying lessons but it might not be in the budget at the moment.

If I could afford a short vacation I could take a flight somewhere. This is something I wanted to do with W last year before BD but she was already done I guess and put up some resistance.

Thanks again for taking the time to respond