OK, not sure what's wrong, Last night my D spent the second day at her mom's. I really am starting to feel awful again for some reason and I'm not sure why. I hate that I let my W's antics the last few days get to me so deeply. I had started to really move past the anger and now it's really raw again. I don't like coming home to an empty house and how lonely the one dog that my W left is. He has always had at least 2 other dogs (one that he is very close with, my D14's dog) and hates being left alone all day. He goes nuts when I get home and when he goes outside he keeps looking for the other dogs.
I hated seeing my D14's room at my W's new home. That isn't her room, the one at my house is and has been her entire life! I have to get all the IRS stuff together and that is over my head. I'm having trouble thinking at work. I have started having nightmares about my W again and they stopped ages ago. I'm worried about my D19 deciding to live with her boyfriend because things aren't "normal" at home anymore and it makes her uncomfortable being around her mom (and to be honest, me as well as she isn't used to me not being with her mom). I need to make more money and this is a slow time. All just excuses as I should be able to push these things aside by now.
I don't know. I don't like being so angry at my W. I certainly don't want to feel sorry for myself and be a victim either. Maybe I'm just going through a bad period and need to start doing more fun things.
I'm also not sure about my W's family party this Saturday. She says I'm invited and she is going as are my D's (they both will be staying with their mom this weekend). I like everyone there and I do like seeing them. But this will be the first time since my W has moved out and I know that her GM won't have any idea that my W has left. (she isn't in her right mind, has Alzheimer's, my W would never have been able to tell her that she left me before she lost her mind. Her GM would NEVER understand her doing that!). I just don't know how it will feel with my W coming with the kids and me alone. How am I supposed to act around her? There is a chance my W won't go as she said she is supposed to have a new refrigerator delivered that day and it depends on when it comes if she will go. If it turned out she had to wait, I would just take the kids myself. It just feels weird.
I don't know, just not feeling as good as I have been!
