Have been having a good time on vacation for the most part, but as it closer to the day H arrives the knot in my stomach gets bigger. I realuze that is because I have not detached nearly as much as I thought I had. It is easy to feel detached when I don't see him ever. I also feel like he's pulled back since I got here. He has been in cintact with the girls, but not me. Not even to ask about the house. I'm trying not to become negative, but it's hard not to think that my marriage really is over. I have about 5 days before he gets here so I hope to pull myself out of this funk and focus on my goals.

1) be positive and happy.
2) any emotional breakdowns will be in private
3) do fun things
4) invite h to do something but do it regardless of dhat he does
5) be friendly and warm
6) make an effort to look good
7) remember I will be ok no matter what.


Me-44 (45)
H- 50 (51)
M-'96

S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)

BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas)
home Oct(sep rooms)
(EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed)
insists wants D through July 2015
no more talk of D since