If I say thank you to my W for anything, she later talks to her friends and mocks me for it. It is just so childish. I'm really, really tired of it all. Here you think you have an 18 year adult relationship with someone, and it devolves into W and her circle of friends gossiping and mocking every move like high school kids.
Her position is that she doesn't want to hurt the kids, but she can't live like this. She's giving up the OM to focus on herself so she can get out of this situation. I told her in MC that this isn't the situation we want to be in -- we want to communicate our needs and get to a better place that works for both of us. She doesn't seem to get that, or doesn't believe it can happen, or, or, or. Who knows? I could wait forever, I think - she is one lost puppy.
Sandi, re S. There is no standard legal definition of S in my state. Here, S is typically an agreement between two people, that you want to get approved by the court to have it stick. It typically includes custody and support arrangements, etc. In other words, an S agreement here is pretty much 99% of the meat of a D, just without the final decree on the M by the court. I guess that's why I always figured if I'm going to do all that haggling and pain, I'm going to do it for keeps. D not S.
I take your other points about creating a crisis as a last resort, her perspective on giving me permission to date, and the timeline.
