1st post. Long but please read, help!

[MrBond]

"After wrestling with all the logistics there is no real solution other than to reconcile!"

That's your reasoning. She left because you failed to change. You expect her to stay miserable for the sake of logistics.

"Part of me hopes she sees that, how tough this road is, how quick she gave up on the M, etc."

You said that this occurred over a period of years and she told you many times she was uncomfortable with certain things but you blew off her concerns.

"But I don't believe that. I think she's suffered and struggled more than I knew. And she won't buckle because things are tough, she'll just get more determined. She's stubborn like I am."

Being stubborn has nothing to do with it. Just because YOU THINK you're fine and everything is perfect, doesn't mean that she trusts or wants to trust it.

"And the scary part is the only way I can see her making it financially is by having some other guy move in."

That just shows how little you think of your W. She had the strength to leave you which I doubt that you ever imagined.

"I don't think that's in her character, but man, that would be tragic if it was something she allowed to be free of me. I'm probably just driving myself crazy with 'what ifs', but I'm allowed to do that for a few minutes a day before I turn back to me and the here and now."

She wouldn't be doing it to be "free" of you. She would be doing it to find out that there are men who will respect her more than you did. The question is how do you change her perception?

All of that stuff you mentioned about the financials are more control on your part. You can't keep doing that if that was one of the reasons why she left.