I am Lost

[ILMWF]

pilot, Thank You so much this is exactly what I am here for and I have a very thick skin and will not get upset with any answer from this community. I just find it very difficult to explain what I've been doing. This all started about the same time we had to admit our daughter to rehab and my wife had to quit her job of twenty some years to take care of our daughter after rehab. The rehab cost was extremely expensive but both my wife and I agree that it saved pour daughters life and was worth every penny we spent. The military member she got involved with was a real terrible person but due to the fog my wife cannot see who he really is. However lately she has been coming around and admitting he is not a very good person. When he was assigned to my wife unit he ask if she was married and the guy told him she was. I was told that this bad person then said I'll F*** her anyway. I have since determined the person is more than likely a narcissist or a sociopath and has no empathy for his fellow man. But that is too much about someone who does not matter. Basically I have made great strides in showing my wife she is responsible for her actions and that I cannot and will not accept the blame for her actions. I have made a vast improvement in the way I look at what the outcome of all this can be. I have decided that my wife must want our marriage and if she doesn't then so be it. In either case I am a better man than before. I have a lot more control and I have become a very good listener for my wife as well as my children. I also know that no matter what I am fixing me for me not as a bait to lure my wife back to a marriage she may really not want to be in any more. if that is the case I've told her she can leave at anytime she chooses. So far she has chose to stay. I personally think all this has more to due with her midlife than anything else. So while she is eating her cake I am being the faithful husband and if it does work out fine if it does not then I know I am a much better father and companion.