We went to a MC during our prior reconciliation attempt and the MC actually told us to separate because it was clear then too that H was not really committed to working on the marriage. It feels like this is more of the same.
My issue with H is more his reaction. If he were to say something like 'Ok, I will do whatever it takes and if you need me to brush up my resume and start job hunting that's what I'll do but I'm concerned I might not find another job' then that I could certainly understand. But the fact that he balks and does not (IMO) seem to 'get' what infidelity recovery takes is deeply concerning to me. He knows that no contact is a requirement. The MC told him that, he and I read an infidelity book together and a few articles that all say the same thing. I'm truly shocked that he is continuing contact with her. He knows better and he has a staff, I can't imagine that someone else on his team can't handle this woman! Also, he has accused me of making my job too much of a priority above him/the family (which I've really pulled back on). I can't tell you how many times he's said 'its just a job'. So his reaction also feels very hypocritical.
I'm curious why you think the message is a bad idea?
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
