Ahhhh, I'm channeling my inner Obi Wan (sans alcohol) now.... and we can always make it over coffee.
Quote:
How far are you from San Diego?
Driving? About 18 hours. Walking? Only Jesus and Forrest Gump know that one.
Here comes Obi:
Quote:
If I could see into the future and confirm that there would be no happy ending then I would skip town. But, that would defeat the purpose of having faith and hope now wouldn't it? In my mind if he's happier somewhere else then let him be. I'm not one to try and convince another person a different point of view because I know they won't see it until they're ready to. I would know because I've been there.
Ah, but sit down and really read this. Faith is what it is. Faith in what, exactly? There WILL be a happy ending, CMF. It just might not include him. Maybe your faith is that the heavens above want you to use this experience to really overcome your personal baggage so they can bring you the kind of love you've wanted and needed your whole life? If you knew that in 5 years you were going to be in love, deeply loved and fulfilled, would it inspire you to chug along here? Because the price of admission to that show is to consistently work at the baggage that contributes to wall building. It's expensive, so get hopping!
Quote:
During our counseling session he did reference a previous relationship which included fraudulent identity--on the girl. I've gathered bits and pieces of what he's told me but I didn't think anything of it since it happened before me and he didn't seem to exhibit any unusually odd trust issues. As a matter of fact he acted quite removed from it and has always been confident. I'm the one who openly shares my trust issues.
Yeesh, really? That's pretty huge, whatever story is behind it. But I truly doubt that he's removed from it, CMF. Based on what you've shared here about him, he bottles it and holds YOU accountable for those past transgressions with other chicks. Basically, you're being held hostage to a circumstance that is 1) not your fault; 2) not about you; 3) you can't fix or correct; and 4) unfair as hell. It's one thing if he were in active therapy to work on his trust issues. You're just putting yours out there for everyone to see. They know you have issues, right?
And just in case this really hasn't hit you yet, you know that the trust issues go hand in hand with abandonment issues? My IC gave me homework a couple weeks ago to watch Brene Brown on her TED talk. I think you might find it enlightening as well. It's about 20 minutes and might just spark a fire for you.
Relax and bask in the memory of your camping. It's all good. Obi Wan says so...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
