Feel good that you didn't ask to get back together. Ken does have a point about some of it but I have seen in the past where you would have just let what he was saying make you feel like he really does 'want' you.
Now, the thing I don't like is where you say "He never has said he doesn't want me back". Yes, MM, he has. He said it in his actions and excuses for his behavior. I know it's hard but you really need to realize he just isn't capable of having anything close to a healthy R with you or anyone for that matter. He is all about him and if he wanted anything close to a real R he wouldn't keep making up reasons he "can't". When I go to a restaurant, I don't tell the waiter all the things on the menu I DON'T want. I clearly say "I want X". Just because he isn't saying "I don't want you and never will" doesn't mean he will EVER want anything close to what you do and what you deserve in a R! His mealy mouthed "Maybe when this or that happens I MIGHT be willing to try" is nothing but excuses. It's his actions, his saying why he DOESN't want to NOW that show you that he may never want you back. Again, you need to get to a place where if someday down the road HE decides he wants to try, you are able to decide if you will ALLOW him back in YOUR life. Right now you are allowing him to have all the power by wanting to be in HIS life.
Learn to love MM. Learn to have a life separate from him that you enjoy and are proud of living. Be the best MM WITHOUT him. You just may find you really won't want him back in YOUR life then.
