Ken... thank you for your opinion, however feel that waiting a few days when he is not so emotional (after yesterday), would be better timed. It has nothing to do with manipulation or control...??? I am confident in my decision here.
It was not intentionally worded to manipulate him nor was my "wasting time" comment. I am pretty sure I know that I was not trying to make him feel guilty (at all) or remorseful. I was stating my fact. If he feels guilt.. thats his cross to bear. He needs to know that I am not waiting anymore... this is a guy who assumes I will still be there when he is ready. I may or may not be ...but he doesn't just get to assume.
I am not convinced (especially after yesterday) that he does not want me. His responses are clear that he does not know... therefore, HE does NOT KNOW> However, I am not holding my breath either. But, believe me...if he KNEW he did not want me...he would be saying so...with clear words! (much like BD). He has NEVER stated that he does not want me & that he is not open to reconciliation. He has ALWAYS stated this...... again, not banking on it!
Seeing his state of confusion...makes me want to run away from him. I will not let his confusion drag me down with him!! I do not like to see anyone suffer, but I realize it is part of his journey and not mine to fix. He has seen my growth and knows that he needs to repair himself. He feels he will do this... "after" when he can concentrate and focus.
One thing at a time.
Meanwhile, I like how I was detaching... I was starting to see some benefits for myself in doing so. I MUST KEEP GOING!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
