Trying to find my way

[Meghan]

Journaling: I spent more of the morning than I'd like to admit reading the forums here, and found some hopefully helpful threads on sexless marriages. I feel like I'm really starting to understand where he's been coming from and why he's so hurt, but I'm still not sure what to do about.

The logical 180 would be to touch and kiss him, since these are forms of intimacy he's specifically mentioned missing out on and that I didn't give him enough of. They're also things I haven't done in months because he stopped. They felt inauthentic to H., and he perceived them as me getting something from him - giving him a hug was seen as more about what I wanted - giving a hug - than what he wanted - presumably receiving a hug?

But, these are also things that he says he doesn't want from me know. I'm not sure what changes I should be making to show change when the things that would be different and that he claims to have wanted are off the table right now.