Trying to find my way

[Meghan]

Another thing I've been wondering about is new or more counseling, particularly if H. comes back and says there's no hope.

I'm reluctant because he's already said he doesn't feel he should have to put in any work. But we keep going to counseling, talking about our concerns, and he gets upset because my crying makes him feel guilty, or he feels angry because even when I validate his concerns, I then get asked about mine by the counselor, and he doesn't seem able to acknowledge any responsibility now or heal my perspective.

Is there any merit in seeking out a solutions based therapy counselor and offering that up as an option when he comes back?

Because he wants me to fix the intimacy and sex issues but doesn't want even basic touching right now, is there any value in finding a sex therapist and going on my own? Or proposing that we go together? Is this the kind of thing that might be seen as taking initiative and responsibility and acknowledging my part in this, or is it pursuing?