THanks guys. Things are moving along slow and steady. More contact and some discussions.
It feels like we just met and are getting to know each other again. I don't think either one of us wants to show all our cards just yet. It will take time to build that trust up. We are discussing our feelings and I'm doing my best to validate and STFU. Practice makes perfect.
Well played. Keep up with the details as I know many are following you hoping to learn how to act when they reach your phase.
I am truly happy for you Thorn!
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
THanks guys. Things are moving along slow and steady. More contact and some discussions.
It feels like we just met and are getting to know each other again. I don't think either one of us wants to show all our cards just yet. It will take time to build that trust up. We are discussing our feelings and I'm doing my best to validate and STFU. Practice makes perfect.
Easy does it!
Wow....its like...you ALMOST read some of that stuff on your threads huh ???
Easy does it killa....
You still have a crapload of work on yourself too...
Don't start sniffing around, and forget that you have to put yourself first through this....
Your healing is STILL....priority number one...
Same as HER healing should be her priority. It's not your job to "fix" her....
The hardest parts are still yet to come...
Using all of those shiny new tools that you have now, and using them to rebuild love, and trust...
It is too dammed easy to start feeling secure, and falling back into old behavior patterns in your relationship.
Right now, words are still just words. Consistent actions over the course of time is what you want to keep your eye on. Hers AND yours...
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Thanks for all your advice. I still have some of your responses printed out so I can refer to them.
We have agreed to not live together for the time being. We would like to slowly date and see where it leads us. We will be living about 45 minutes apart so that will give us both plenty of breathing room.
I will be continuing my counseling and pursuing GAL. And I will continue to post here.
Thanks for being there during my darkest hour. I really mean that.
I have been following your situation since you first posted. This is the first time I have posted outside of my own thread. I dont have alot to offer, as I am new to this whole DBing process. I do offer you full support and wish thi gs well with you. The only thing I can think to say that might be helpful is: Remember when you were first dating. It took time for each step of the R to progress. First a conversation, then a touch, next a kiss, then sex/love (this step can get blurry) then the full blown R. Just remember the next step cant happen without the previous steps taking place first. Take your time and put one step in front of the other.
I am rooting for you and look forward to the updates.
Thomas
Me (33), W(30) 3 kids (13S, 8D, 3D) Together 13years Married 7 years
Wife said D 6-3-2014 Went on M saving vacation 6-16-2014 Things good 8-2014 to 7-17-2015 I'm DONE. 7-18-2015
