[BrightFuture]

FY, nero, thanks for your posts.

Nero, I’m really trying not to go to the past too. It is not easy. I don’t really go into the future though. I feel like you, “still floating along”. This is exactly how I feel, I just realized it. The work keeps me busy, but when I get off I don’t want to do anything. I’m trying though…

Not a beep from H, still. I sent him his mail last week. He was supposed to get it yesterday. No “thank you” or anything. I haven’t contacted him either.

I went to the vacation home place again last weekend. I spent some time with my mutual friends and went to the beach with my dog. My GF brought up her cousin in a conversation, again… I just validated. We actually came to a conclusion later that her cousin is like a teenager, still… in her 30th. She lives with her Mom, doesn’t have a steady job and I constantly looks for somebody who can take care of her. Well, my H is kind of in a teenage world too. So, there it was, two teenagers trying to hook up and not really thinking about the consequences, or if they hurt somebody, or actually thinking it though from the practical point of view. How the he!! He was he going to have her live with him while I’m still using the vacation home, when I was still paying his bills and having joint accounts with him? My GF agreed that the whole situation was not realistic. She is still hurt that her cousin did this to her and to me. I don’t know who is hurt more now, her or me.

We went to the party at the restaurant and I saw some of H’s drinking “friends” there. I told my GF that I wish I would not see them, because this makes me very sad, thinking that H could go so low and socialize with trashy people like that.

My GF told me what H said in a conversation with her right before he left to go to work in May. He said that he hasn’t been lucky finding a companion. He could not do it at the vacation home place, he could not pick up a Mexican girl there, because he doesn’t speak Spanish, he could not find anybody in the state where he works. He was kind of sorry for himself and said that maybe he is just destined to be single. Yeah, and I didn’t say anything to her about the dating site. I suppose there is nobody good for H there either, LOL.