Wife officially walked away just over a month ago

[BigMac]

labug
I hope it passes. Today I had a therapy appointment where I chose the topic of codependance. How every time I snoop on Facebook or Twitter I just feel bad.

He said that this is like an addiction, that you are addicted to her. And you have to quit. That it will hurt so bad, but it will hurt either way. I'm trying to quit her, but .... I guess I am worried that quitting my W is not loving my wife. I'm worried that I won't want her back.

Does that sound as crazy to you as it does to me?

Re: Austin. She moved to Austin 3 months ago (it was over a month before she bothered telling any of us .. she said it was just for work). Legally I can keep the kids in Ca, however that would involve lawyers, as well as controlling my W.
I have really been working on not controlling her, and that includes supporting her if she wants to move the kids out there.

I can work in any of 56 countries in the world, and can work anywhere in America I want to. The only caveat is that if I am outside of Silicon Valley, it means I have to fly a bit more. So, I agreed when I was in my grief state 6 weeks ago to move, although I did say that I wasn't in a position to make a decision then emotionally.

Right now, the kids are with the grandparents 110 miles away. My daughter is pissed at me (16 year old, feels abandoned and doesn't want to come visit me). I have my son however at least every other weekend for 3 days or more. If they move to Austin I will at minimum rent a room there, and change my home address (no state income tax). That puts my home airport out of there, and I have 10,000 excuses to fly back to the bay to my rental house here.

All of W's things are still here, our entire life, art, memories, are here in this house. Luckily it is a rental, and we can move. But it still is just one more change that I'm not so sure I'm ready to make right now. I'm fragile, barely hanging on some days. And while each day seems to be better then the next, most nights have at least one moment of pain and longing.

I wish that I didn't love her, this would be so much easier. Why does love have to be painful?