Hi willbe, After B-day, I went searching for info on why someone who had been married for 20 years and together for 25, who didn't have any "real' reason other then being "unhappy" would want a D and not even be willing to try and fix things. My W had always been so against D, always saying she never would. What I found was many blogs from women who had done this. Almost every story was the same, it was erie, kind of like the MLC script. They all but a very few regretted their decision. The few who didn't, had M's where there was really bad problems like abuse or drug use or alcoholism. They all said that they really felt that by going off and having an A or simply ending their M, they would stop feeling so empty or unhappy. They all thought that it was their H's that were the cause. Truly believed that they would be so much happier. The biggest lie that they told themselves was that they would be happier, so in turn would be better mothers to their kids. Everyone said that was so untrue in the end. All of them wished they had tried to save the M. They knew that what they had done was wrong, now, but at the time they really felt 'justified" because they blamed their H's for not being able to make them happy.
They all were in a lot of pain. The pain not only of losing their M but added pain knowing they were the ones who had done it. On purpose and saw how it not only hurt them but how they had hurt their H's and families. So much so that they were writing blogs about it to "help' other's who were feeling the same way. The thing is, we all know that an MLC will never seek out info that goes against just what they are doing. They will twist everything to match what or justify what they are doing, so these blogs really only help those who have come through what WE all know was a MLC.
The reason you can't stop thinking about this woman is, IMO, the fact that she is, like our S's, either in an MLC or through one and you see in her story the story of your S! Here is a person who now knows and feels the pain of what they have done. While we know the other side of this, here is someone who knows the side we have been hurt by. The fact that she is hurting only makes it more compelling as isn't that one of the things we all hope for, that our S's realize what they have done. feel the pain that they have caused in us? Of course you can't stop thinking of her!
I know that what our S's are putting us through makes it much harder to not be judgmental. A worthy goal and I wish you luck getting there as it is so very hard not to experience what our S's have done and still are doing and be somewhat judgmental.
