I want you to do me a favor. Go back and re-read my posts. I feel like a lot was missed. You're projecting onto me is what it feels like, especially when the Aspergers part comes up or you say I'm like your husband, who from what I've read really doesn't sound like me at all and really sounds mean to be honest.

When people say things that ARE wrong though, I say so. Like my wife is sick, comparing her diabetes to a terminal illness.

Maybe it's not really possible to get people to understand US in a forum setting, and maybe it's just my fault anyway for not being able to write enough to make people understand the situation better. It's like people can't understand how a couple can be perfectly happy only one of them just wants to have sex once in a while.

And again with the part about not being in a sex-starved marriage.

I'm not sure how bad our marriage has to be before anyone will agree it's sex-starved, or how long it has to be, or how selfish I sound just for talking about it.

You're asking me to say things I've already said, too. Things I've tried, habbits I've told you I changed. I don't get it. I'll say thanks again, I'm just not sure how many times before you believe it? I've said sincerely thanks. A lot.


So what are you saying to do? Sit down and shut up until my marriage "is" sex-starved? I don't get it. Just be happy with having a marriage that isn't completely broken is what I hear the most here. Maybe my problem seems simple and selfish to everyone BECAUSE their problems are so severe by comparison?


Again, I think it would be a different story if I started over and nobody missed anything. If you can actually picture the things I've changed in your head maybe we could start over, such as therapy and better sleep and not bringing sex up with my wife no matter what. I know she'd be very upset if I were texting and flirting with other women---I'm not judging you for doing that, but it's like that's not the kind of advice I can get here----it's more like I'm doing good and just stay happy and get over sex.

But then that sounds like I'm focusing on sex....so we're back to square one. I'm not sure what to say. It's like having a Ferrari, everything's in perfect shape but the license plate light is out. That's it. The engine is fine. Tires are in good shape. Most people would never notice the issue. But I don't know what else to talk about----the headlights and air conditioning? See what I'm saying? "Be patient." I am! I promise. How long? 6 months, THEN I can officially call it sex-starved and we can talk? See what I mean? It's just tricky, that's all. It's HARD. I MISS it, even if I don't think about it much anymore and don't bring it up with my wife and don't talk to her about it and sincerely do stay busy doing other things and she's happy but just lost her physical love for me.

I guess what I'm really saying is I'm afraid. I'm afraid of month six and what happens when we reach it.