And so my roller coaster ride continues. We had a great 4th of July, spending the day with family and friends at our good friend's house. The kids had a blast as did we. H acted as if all was normal, pretending to be a happily married dad. He has yet to tell his brothers (or anyone else other than his mom) that he's pursuing the divorce and at this point is really not doing much to help his case as to why he has to pursue it. The friends I was certain knew something last week and acted funny were there, and this time they were acting like old times. His best friend especially was talking to me for most of the day like old times, cracking jokes, just being his old self with me so I'm not sure what he knows after all. So then I just don't get. Why pretend? Why not help your cause and not come around with me so at least it looks like there are issues and there's a "need" for you to divorce me. Why put on the act. These people are going to be in utter shock and disbelief when they hear he's started proceedings.
So we got back from the bbq late, put the kids to bed and he left for a few hours, came home and cuddled up to me in bed. He didn't try anything, but just slept all night hugging me. Then the next morning I wake up let him know I'm taking the kids to my parents summer house for the day and will be back the next morning to see his parents off on their extended vacation. He is fine with it, telling me to drive carefully and be careful in general. So for 24 hours I had my old husband back.
Then Sunday we come back and H does a complete 180. He was cold, distant and snappy. Hung out for about 30 minutes with the kids and left until late. Monday morning he completely ignored me. That afternoon he was to come watch the kids for an hour so that I could go to the gym. Just last week I signed up with a trainer that my father in law and brothers in law work with to work out 2 days a week. He is my brother in laws friend. So since H stalks my phone, I don't know if he saw the trainer texting me or what his issue was, but H was so rude to me before I left, ignoring me and acting like a child. I only spoke to him regarding the kids and he ignored me as if I wasn't in the room. As soon as I got back from the gym, he changed and left for the night. This morning again, woke up ignored me and left. Now I get a text that he won't be relieving the babysitter tonight so that means he's not coming home.
There are a number of things I wanted to discuss with him like adults before my lawyer called to make the intro and now with his attitude I don't see that happening. I wanted to discuss separating the phone bill, our kids vacation, his bday next week and whether he'd be doing something with the kids, but I'm afraid that once the lawyers talk this week things will only get worse. Should I attempt to be honest and forewarn him about what the attorney will say (ie him paying my legal fees) so that he is not shocked and doesn't attack me for it or is it pointless? I just think of the motto, "do to others as you would want them to do to you" and I have to say every communication I received from his attorney was like a punch in the stomach. Had he spoken to me about them first I would have taken each better. I'm trying to perserve as much of our relationship as possible for the sake of the children and I DO NOT want this to get ugly, but I guess I have no control. Don't know what's best in this crazy world of MLC.
Me: 35, H: 36, M: 6, S: 1, D: 3, BD: 4/21/14 H still living at home
