Okay, good. I thought I had read all your posts, but must have missed that one.

I agree with you about using your time better. If you are thinking of S, have you considered telling her you think each of you should be able to date others? I know how you feel about M and the vows, and I respect you for it. You don't have to actually date anyone, if you don't want to, but you could just put it out there to her. As I recall, she didn't like the thought of you seeing anyone else (even though she's had more than one A). Sometimes, jealousy can cause a person to see what others see.

Now I'm sure plenty of people will find fault with that thinking, and I'm certainly not trying to push you toward anything you don't want. I'm just suggesting you think about it. Her just knowing you would be "available" to date might stir up some old feelings, IDK. If it did, it may be a good sign.....or not. Some women don't want their H's and don't anyone else to have him either. But so far, she's had you staying out of the dating arena...while she plays around. Why shouldn't she see how it feels to watch her S leave and wonder if he's meeting someone else?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!