Thanks daring and Julie, W came by again last night to pick up more furniture. She also wanted to "talk" which to her means here comes something I really won't like. Turns out that she is "concerned" because since we bought thousands of dollars worth of antiques from her grandmothers estate sale, she didn't inherit it, I expect to keep a (very) few pieces for myself. Well, she said that is "wrong" because I may remarry and it wouldn't be right for "her" families things to go to someone else! Well, two things. I was a part of her family especially that side, for the last 20 years. I'm still close to them all (especially her GM) and my kids are still part of that family and they will get anything I keep one day. She has taken ALL the best furniture (including a chair she bought a month after B-day. At the time I thought it was a good sign that she was still thinking about a future together but now I see she figured she would just keep it when she left!) and the only really nice stuff we have was bought at that sale! At the time I was the only one working and had been for the 12 years before, so I made the money that paid for it all.
I just looked at her, stopped myself from saying what was going through my mind (it wouldn't have been pretty) and just said "Well, I'll think about that and for now we'll just play it by ear". She added "I wouldn't take any of YOUR family things". Yeah, well, we didn't spend $4,000 on MY family things, did we? The worst part of this is that I would have just let her take most of it anyway but now I'm really not in the mood. She takes the steam mop, vacuum, sugar and flour, all the place settings (wedding gift from her GM and she says "My GM wanted ME to have them" even though they were for BOTH of us, 12 settings!), the new chair and already took the most expensive pieces from the estate sale.
Her GM and GF bought most of the stuff when he was stationed in England after WW2. It's not like this stuff was handed down from many generations of her family. If we hadn't bought them the general public would have. I really don't think it's right for her to take it ALL! I really don't get her. So, what if I remarry? She's really gotten me angry this time. Here I'm trying to take care of this IRS stuff and this isn't something I really want to waste time on!
How in God's name do these MLCers get so very selfish when they never were like that before? How does my W who used to be so loving and sweet become this self obsessed? What exactly is it she is so worried about really? She knows that anything like that stuff I would give to my D's in the end. By then she may be long dead as she's so sure she is suffering from so many different aliments! Is she that badly wanting me so far separated she can't stand to think of me having anything that used to belong to "her" family?
I have a feeling that this will be a big problem and soon. This is going to cause some bad feelings going into the final D decree for sure. Of course, my W has thought from the start that this whole process was going to be so easy, no one will be hurt, everyone will be happy that she's now living the life she wants. Her D's will be glad that their mom is going to be happier and she will be a "better" mother because she will be so very happy. So far, none of that is true. D14 is now not going to be going to private school for sure because of the IRS problems (if my W hadn't run off, she would easily be able to go), D14 has also only spent 2 nights so far at her mom's new house. W has cancelled plans with both D's to go see her daddy and both are upset about that. And it's only been 3 weeks!
My life may not have been that great since my W started on her MLC journey 3 years ago but man, things are just so much more stressful. Her actions may allow me to be free of her stupid antics but it's just that the things that are most important to me, my D's and their futures, are the things that have become impossible! I worked so long to give them both a great start in life. Now, my oldest can't go to college full time and my D14 will be forced to go to public school just when she only has a few years left. The most important years, HS! All this so my W can run away and find her "joy". I really don't like the person she has become at all. She always said the thing she most loved about me was the fact that no matter what happened, she knew I would always love her, always care about her. I really think she thinks that is STILL the case. Well, it isn't. The more she keeps her antics up, the less I care what happens to her. when she comes over she acts so "nice" and friendly. It is starting to make me a little sick.
