From what you posted here and in Newcomers, your XH sounds like a complete jerk. I agree that it's crummy!
But... considering his jerkiness (that stuff with your sister and her BF), maybe this is as good as it's gonna get? What if he knocked on your door and said, "FU! Thank God I'm free!" and threw the papers at you instead? (Based on what you wrote, it sounds like it might have been something he would have done...) So maybe you reframe it and consider this as nice and avoiding any behaviors that would hurt you as he's going to be.
He did an awful lot of projecting on to you - holding you accountable for feeling miserable, and then reconnecting with a middle school girl and saying she was the love of his life? I mean WTF? Seriously? This guy is in his 50s and delusional! What? They loved Welcome Back Kotter and it was their playground ritual to discuss it while playing kickball? I remember my 8th grade BF fondly too. But he was 14, and we're now 52. Like he's the one that got away? Just because I fondly remember Elton John and think of him? Good grief.
Seriously, Chickie. Let this a*hole go and create the life YOU want for yourself for the next 45 years. Anyone that would be this callous after 13 years of marriage is a complete dick, and you deserve a real commitment from the kind of guy who treasures your company and values you for being you.
I hope today is the start of the best year of your life. (Have you read that book by Debbie Ford? You can start any time of the year you want. :))
Be nice to yourself!
Betsey
p.s. Sorry for all the cussing
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
