Hijack alert no 2.... apologies all. Sandi, if you could look at my thread and advise I'd appreciate it.
M 35 W 31 D 10 Married 3 years Together 11 Single since Nov 13 Moved out Dec 13 ILYBNILWY, 'I don't want to be a boring housewife, 'I don't fancy you any more' OM confirmed Jun 14
Sorry oad for hijacking but I would live to get sandis input on my last couple of posting. Sandi if you get a free moment I am potentially in the middle of one of those spots right now. Any input from you would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Well My W dad called today. He said that everyone misses me at the beach house, including wife. That he talked to her and she said that I still haven't changed and I will never change. That she will be happier divorcing me. Well he said that he doesn't buy it for a minute that she is happier this way. He mentioned how every morning when he goes fishing he is sad im not there with him. I love my inlaws, they are good people. Wish WAW would just stop and see whats going on. FIL says he prays every day her heart will soften. Me, im still on my road to make me a better person and father, still 100% indifferent!!!!
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
Good for you oad. Keep strong and keep working on yourself, and resist the temptation to get reeled back in prematurely. I am going through the same thing right now, and am finally learning that these requests to come back for tonight, or anything similar is just testing me, even if it feels like she is softening. She will let you know if her feelings actually do change and she will hopefully try to win you back at that point. Stay strong brother!
Me 31 Her 30 M 5.5 T 11 0 Kids Bomb drop: 4/13, EA+PA: 12/13 Separated: 12/13, 3rd chance of counseling:7/14
I blocked my W but kept fb just because of all the years of photos of the kids. I am not very active on fb anyways
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Well I just deactivated my facebook account...im going dark in cyber world, except here of course..lol
I deactivated mine for awhile as well. there are many different opinions on blocking your spouse etc. I personally did my H was always screen shotting posts of me being out or tagged at places. Id rather him wonder what the boys and I are doing
I know it is hard to hear what your FIL is telling you but remember it is her dad. My sitch has gotten very complicated in the beginning because of my MIL being very involved (her choice). Her and H are now not talking and haven't talked since when he first left.
I would just validate what he's saying but don't fuel his fire. If he is feeling that way I'm sure he would run and tell W (I'm sure he would have good intentions). You want to be mysterious and as the advice I get make your spouse think you've had an awakening. You don't want her thinkig you're pining over her still.
And yes as a woman I'm sure she misses you. I'm sure she thinks of all the times you have. Gone together and now your absence weighs on her heart.
Now her cousin texted me, he says the same that everyone misses me and my humor and all the crazy stuff I would do every year there, it feels good knowing her family cares for me a lot. He also mentioned something weird, he said "Dude you have to win her back" ...."I know you can do it"..."stay close to your FIL, he has good advice on that for you" then he writes "You need to change some things, lets talk in person when I get back"....I wonder what that meant? also he told me my inlaws are very sad about the whole thing and that my W hasent even told them we are divorcing, he heard it from inlaws. W hasent even mentioned me to her cousin..wierd.
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
Need some advice....sandi2 if you are out there!!! . Anyways my W and daughters come back tomorrow from the week trip to the beach. I have been staying at my house for the week, should I be here when they return? If I stay my W will expect that I will help unload the car etc...etc...then she will probably tell me how much fun it was....then I will leave (probably looking in her eyes like a tamed dog leaving the house). Or should I not be here and let her call and say she is home and go by and pick up the girls for a while and drop them back off at the house to limit my contact. Any thoughts?
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
I don't think it's that big a deal either way, but I would go with the second option. That way your time with the kids will not be hampered by the unloading. It also lets your W come home to an empty house.
. Anyways my W and daughters come back tomorrow from the week trip to the beach. I have been staying at my house for the week, should I be here when they return? If I stay my W will expect that I will help unload the car etc...etc...then she will probably tell me how much fun it was....then I will leave (probably looking in her eyes like a tamed dog leaving the house). Or should I not be here and let her call and say she is home and go by and pick up the girls for a while and drop them back off at the house to limit my contact. Any thoughts?