living with WAW who hasn't walked yet (5)

[sandi2]

What I fear is that my W has interpreted LRT as total disinterest in her, or fixing the M.

(Slap!!!!)

I can't believe you just said that, zew.

Although I have clearly expressed my desire to reconcile and do MC, I had stipulated that there should be no OM in the picture if MC was to be effective. The three sessions we did were enlightening, I think, but with OM in the picture at the time, she really wasn't into it.

Is there an "if, and or but" coming?

She said this to a friend:
Quote:
He emotionally checked out a long time ago. If he really and truly wanted to get back together with me, he would be making more of an effort. The effort he's made is just sticking a band-aid on a gaping hole. Not to say that I want to get back together with him, but he sure isn't making me want to give this a try.

So suddenly she's making sense to you and you're buying her BS?

So in spite of 180's etc, which she has noticed, I am clearly not making the right effort that makes her want to try.

Having your "talk" with her to repeat the same old - same old is not going to put the "want to" in her, either.

She doesn't need a motivational speech (not that yours was motivational), but she needs heart surgery.

Why are you being tempted to fall back into old stuff that didn't work the first time around?

You are still looking for a response from her, and she still isn't responding....so you start back with being tempted to tell her all this old stuff again. She doesn't care! You can say it a zillion times, and it will still not cause the response in her you want.

I know you have to do what you think is best, but I still say as long as her life continues going on the very same way, she isn't going to change her mind. She has suffered no loss. At least, not the kind that matters to her. She still has everything she would have if she was being faithful, unless it's a better R with you. But she doesn't consider that as a loss.

Here's what I see in men. They wait too long in deciding to end things, and they linger around and keep hoping she'll change her mind. After he can stand no more and is finally ready to end it and move on with his life, he does what he should have done in the beginning. That's what you're doing. You are going to continue to give her this nice comfy lifestyle, where she gets the best of both worlds for 13 more months......hoping she'll change her mind. But it will be [u]after[/u you D her that it will start to take affect.