confrontation methods?

[pbetra]

Better to accept what is, (remind yourself it won't always be that way) and take steps to make it work for you. Remember, a true MLC usually takes YEARS to play out. Having said that, I believe most will come out better people in the end, and will realize who was there for them while they were off and running.

The real question is will you still care or be there when this happens. Your choice, and you don't have to decide today.

ForeverYoung, hi,
I understand what you mean
re: >> anytime you do confront, without any serious follow up consequences, you lose a little bit of power and credibility <<

I think that part of the frustration for me (apart from immediate reply above to juliegayle) is that I began to doubt if he could change?!! And if any of this was worth it. I also have to manage my many responsibilities for which I feel stretched. With MLC, I no longer have help in other areas. I do EVERYTHING with very little time for myself.

I remembered hearing that some people are more phychologically minded than others. I think that those mlcers are more likely to make it through the tunnel (not that others can't - it probably helps) H's thinking is very 'b&w' & he's not overly sensitive (people like him are the reason coaching companies make LOTS of $$ with Sensitivity 101 sessions/courses. I'm not kidding!!). H has always been against any type of therapy (said something like "strangers shouldn't be exposed to other people's business"). This was the response years ago when I felt that a professional outside of 'our emotional sphere' could be objective to give us both direction, in the interest of building the relationship. Profanity followed my suggestion.

I am glad that I came here though. My fatigue must be affecting my peception & with that doubt creeps in. It hasn't been a year after all - & your post info. quoted above will benefit my kid anyway, since I must not act/think in haste. thanks again, p.

ps: found the post that started me thinking about confrontation - will include below 'fyi'