Hey Tboned, you sound great today - keep that up!! It does feel good to get your power back!! You are worth it. Only you are in control of your own happiness The FOO issues is "family of origin" meaning your childhood and family upbringing. We watch and learn from our family. I watched and learned a lot of not so good traits from mine. I did get a lot of good things too though. The good outweighs the bad and I am able to "see" it now and self correct. For instance you can think about your main parent - for me it was my mother because my father worked all the time so she is the one I most interacted with. Think about how that person reacted or responded to situations - anger, guilt, celebration, etc. I wrote down the way she dealt with each thing (i.e. when she was angry she would scream, yell, throw things) and then next to it did a list of how I deal with those things and saw such a close comparison. There were things I knew I did not want to be like her on and I have been trying to change that about myself. Some things are so deeply seeded it is hard to change but I do acknowledge what exists and then just try when it comes up to respond in a new way, a healthier way. Does that make sense? I know what you mean about finding your passion. It took me a long time to figure out what to do with myself. I made a list (it was short) of things I like to do and then tried to figure out what I could do with those and just experiment. I ended up playing pool which was not on the list but it's a lot of fun for me. Dogs/animals is on my list and volunteering for a local animal shelter is a good way to help and also meet some really nice people. Pretty hard to do when you like animals so much and that's a hard place to be around animals. I did some remote volunteer work because they always need help with pictures, facebook pages, signs, etc. I'm not a social person either, but have developed new friendships that never would have happened had I not gotten divorced. It forces you to go outside your comfort zone. I found that to be a good thing, helps you to grow when you try new things and face some fears. Little things even like banana peppers on pizza... i just knew i didn't like those but when i thought about it I remembered I never actually tried it. So I tried it and it wasn't bad at all Living in the now, opening up to new experiences, life is short. Trying something new and deciding then if it's worth doing it again or move on to something else. We learn from each experience, even the little things. You are going to find tremendous strength in yourself and already have. You got this!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
The FOO issues is "family of origin" meaning your childhood and family upbringing. We watch and learn from our family. I watched and learned a lot of not so good traits from mine. I did get a lot of good things too though. The good outweighs the bad and I am able to "see" it now and self correct. For instance you can think about your main parent - for me it was my mother because my father worked all the time so she is the one I most interacted with. Think about how that person reacted or responded to situations - anger, guilt, celebration, etc. I wrote down the way she dealt with each thing (i.e. when she was angry she would scream, yell, throw things) and then next to it did a list of how I deal with those things and saw such a close comparison. There were things I knew I did not want to be like her on and I have been trying to change that about myself. Some things are so deeply seeded it is hard to change but I do acknowledge what exists and then just try when it comes up to respond in a new way, a healthier way. Does that make sense? I know what you mean about finding your passion. It took me a long time to figure out what to do with myself. I made a list (it was short) of things I like to do and then tried to figure out what I could do with those and just experiment. I ended up playing pool which was not on the list but it's a lot of fun for me. Dogs/animals is on my list and volunteering for a local animal shelter is a good way to help and also meet some really nice people. Pretty hard to do when you like animals so much and that's a hard place to be around animals. I did some remote volunteer work because they always need help with pictures, facebook pages, signs, etc. I'm not a social person either, but have developed new friendships that never would have happened had I not gotten divorced. It forces you to go outside your comfort zone. I found that to be a good thing, helps you to grow when you try new things and face some fears. Little things even like banana peppers on pizza... i just knew i didn't like those but when i thought about it I remembered I never actually tried it. So I tried it and it wasn't bad at all 
