She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[MrBond]

"What I am trying to do is stay calm and not let her anger me. I also avoid conversations with her about OM. It only comes up when she puts all the blame on me for her affair."

The anger is something that you do to yourself. Think of it this way. If she were a stranger and came up to you off the street and started yelling hatred at you, you'd just look at her like she were crazy and then walk away laughing. Think of her as that stranger. You attach meaning to her words which causes you to get angry.

Let it go.