Just wanted to offer some support. I know it can be very difficult living in the same space with a spouse who is mean, angry and clearly doesn't want to be there. I am actually happy on the nights my h sees OW because I know I will have some peace.
Things are more civil now but up until about a month ago I felt how you described. I did start meditating and it helped. Also really working on detaching and not taking anything he said or did personally. It is hard but jeep working on it.
What boundaries I have set are for me. For example he can not talk to me in a disrespectful way. I cannot make him do that but I can walk away and not listen when he starts. The other is I will not engage if he has been drinking.
Good luck. Keep reading and posting hete. It will help keep you sane.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
