Thornton: "She was struggling just as much as I was! All the times I thought she was out living it up (I was convinced), she was having a terrible time. She said she cried all the time and missed me terribly. She just couldn't figure out how to fix things. She said she was hoping I would chase her. I told her I didn't because I wanted to respect her wish to separate from me. "
Thorn, I think what your W said is true. I'm starting to see the cracks appear in my H's veneer... he's not as fabulously happy in his "new life" as I thought he would be. He's finally said a few things to cement that as fact. I know he's really not doing much in the way of "fun and exciting" at all, and I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't thrown him out, he'd still be here. But nothing would have changed, so this is a necessary step, an opportunity for us both to figure things out.
"Don't chase them guys and gals! Do not chase them! Just like the book says, no pursuit."
That's RIGHT! I *think* my H would feel better if I was pursuing or offering to take him back. It would mean he could waltz back in and pick up right where he left off without dealing with any of the stuff that got us here in the first place.
That's not going to happen. I have a line in the sand (in my mind) and when the time comes, there is no crossing it.
H has done me a favor in a way. He's made it so things HAVE TO CHANGE. That change has begun with me, but it will finish with him either deciding to change, or staying the same.
More of the same behavior from him will not build a foundation for a new and improved marriage and I will not welcome him back until I see some stones being set solidly in place.
Congrats to you Thornton!
DBing champ that you are!
--GG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
