WAW...Again, Part III

[stumps]

So I realized regarding the dog W wants to get, I pulled a 180 without realizing it. I had texted W's father (a contractor) to ask him how much it would cost to put in a couple of sections of split rail fence around the house. He ended up coming up to the house to talk to us about exactly what we wanted and why we wanted it. When W told him it was for a dog, she made him promise not to tell her mother, and when he asked why W told him it was because her mother is always negative about everything and would point out all the reasons it was a bad idea. W said she hadn't even firmly decided we were getting a dog, but she wanted to enjoy entertaining the idea without someone telling her all the reasons she shouldn't get one. When W said that, I immediately thought to myself "Hmmm, that's what I typically would have done... I would have felt the need to be the voice of reason and discuss all the realities and considerations that needed to be taken into account..." But this time I didn't. I just let W have her fun looking at dogs and thinking up names and imagining what it would be like if we got one.

In other news... this morning W started talking about how she realized while she was on vacation that what was important to her was getting healthier, getting back into yoga, and spending time with her kids and husband and the rest of her family. She said she realized how sucked into an unhealthy lifestyle she was and that working in an environment with people mostly 10-15 years younger than her was fun at first, but she sees the detrimental effect hanging out with what are essentially college kids has had on her. She brought up the fact that she hasn't been wearing her wedding ring (I noticed but said nothing), and wanted me to know that she doesn't consider herself any less married and it doesn't change her behavior, but that she doesn't want to wear that ring anymore because it represents a failed marriage. She said if and when we are more fully reconciled she wants to get a new ring to represent a new marriage. Notably, she said she feels like it's more likely a matter of "when" rather than "if" because she feels good about how things have been lately and where we are headed.

So...this is all good stuff. Just going to keep up DBing, tread lightly, take it slow, and see how things continue to develop.