Actually got to eat dinner with W and the kids. Had a decent time just talking about stuff she had done. Was so hard to not want to talk about us at all, but I just refrained and actually looked into her eyes and listened with everything I had. All good stories and just was nice to actually hear some things from her. I know it meant nothing for us, was all about the kids, but was still nice.
Looking in the eyes thing was something she hated because I would never do it. It was because it got to where I had no respect for her, and just didn't care what she said. I can say now I really do care what she says. It may be too late for us, but it's good to know that I still can do it. I have always been that way though, from feelings of being not good enough. Always wanting to look away instead of in a persons eyes, due to either not caring or thinking I wasn't good enough.
I actually saw the old wife just a little but come through. You could tell she was trying not to show anything though, would stop or look away herself sometimes. But just to see it for a little bit was good.
And she asked to have dinner with the kids, and said I could stay and eat with them if I wanted. At first I said are you sure it's okay to stay, shouldn't have said that, should have just said yes and went on. But it was difficult to think I could be comfortable with her after the convo earlier. I guess just tests and trying to be nice for the kids. Oh well was a overall good night!!
