Got second notice that my job is done shortly; it's not an if, it's a when I lose my job. Very emotional day. On the ride home W texted me that we have a meeting with pastor on what to tell the boys. Was already in tears with stress and hurt.
Went to a support meeting this evening. Every thing seems to be crashing down more. I'm in a very dark place right now. Sent off texts to some friends while meditating at a local forest. Sent text to W too. That got misread. I guess she read my asking her to show empathy to the children that I was asking her to come back. I also told her I lost the job. She wanted to stay at my house until I got home but mom told her to leave. She told mom she HAD to tell me again she was never coming back to me.
Can't have her hanging out here while still hot and heavy in the affair. She was supposed to be visiting the kids but between calls to her sister about my text (timing) and lots upon lots of texts to OM (cell bill snoop), she could not have done much with them.
Still no word on the D. Really want to detach but keep backsliding. I need to find some way and some help to move on. Anyone?
