I am the prize

[daring]

Thanks Matt and FY for your input. I had read Hearts Blessing's stages where they talk about revisiting each stage but wasn't sure if rapid firing is part of it. I also read Michelle's discussion on sex with the estranged spouse and potential risks/benefits.

I decided to go for it yesterday when the opportunity presented itself and it was very nice to connect some. He kept checking to make sure I was ok with us being intimate ( including after) and seemed very genuine. I really feel ok with it and didn't feel like I was " giving in", more like I was sharing some connection to help him where he's at in his journey. I know that sounds corny but really thats where I'm at. And I still feel strong and positive.

As far as the status of things- something FEELS different. I can't put my finger on it but I see H being gentler, more considerate, more introspective but not in such a tortured way. Maybe it's also that I have reached a different level of detachment where his difficult days aren't taken personally. It's probably both and it feels like movement in a way that I feel more peaceful and positive. It's nice. I'm trying to let him bake while I enjoy the smell of sweetness beginning to waft from the oven.....not rushing anything as if this is going to work it needs to be done right.