She says she's conflicted (part 2)

[Oxford1]

No , you are misunderstanding me completely.

I am not telling you to demand that she stop her affair . I am telling you to put up a personal boundary. To say you will not be a third party in a marriage. That leaves her with a choice. It's not demanding her to do something.

Unless you are with being a third part in the marriage. But it is evident you aren't and you are very resentful and focused way too much on OM.

So , I have explained this before. You decide what you will tolerate. Then she decides if she is willing to respect that. If not, you go about your business and leave out OM.

Thanks!! I was totally misunderstanding you.

I guess I am missing the fine line between selfish demands and boundaries.

I really avoided the OM until she was all hyper sensitive tonight. I know he is driving her nuts. The thing is she so much defends him and does not want to hurt him.

she even once said a long time ago that even though he yells at her and never stops talking she rather deal with that then me..

Once I heard her yell at him..in 25 plus years of marriage my husband never spoke to me the way you do and I am not going to put up with it.

But guess what that was almost a year ago!!