The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball.

[wishing, hoping]

Busy weekend. Lots of fun with the kiddie! D was over the moon about her American Girl doll. She hasn't put it down. So glad I made the investment. It beats getting a curtain rod for your birthday.

Went to one fourth parade and two fireworks shows and got eaten alive by mosquitoes. But we had fun regardless.

D had her party today. It was very overcast but warm and the rain held off. Five little girls and three big ones. It was nice. J and OW showed up of course acting like the perfect couple. I shook off my disgust and was gracious and civil not because I wanted to because it was the right thing to do. J did his usual bit of doing enough to appear like he had something to do with the planning of the party when I did all the work. If I sound a little bitter it's because I am.

S told me J plans to get a Corvette Stingray when the kids are "out of the house". Just more evidence of his materialistic nature coming to light. J probably passed it off as making a joke, but I know the truth of the matter. Once the kids are 18 and his responsibility is done, he will go and have fun and be done. He will keep minimum maintenance on the kids just so he can get part of the glory until that time, but once college is in sights, J will be long gone.

D said she often thinks that daddy doesn't love her. I told her that her daddy does love her and if she needs reassurance then to get it from him. This makes me so sad. Such a sweet innocent little girl. I just want to cry.

Is it truly better for these kids to be around their con man of a father? He makes me sick. I see through the facade and I so want to call him out. I fight the urge and I'm constantly reminding myself to give it to god and not take karma into my own hands.

And I kept hearing how J was so sick (at death's door practically) yet he was sacrificing his health to swim with the girls. I hope he catches a cold and sneezes his head off.

Yes I am owly and snippy tonight. I kept my mouth shut all day. I got to let it out.

WH