Hi everyone. It has been 1 week and 1 day since h came home. And yes, it is a rollercoaster ride for sure. Very stressful.

To answer a few questions:
Yes, he was with her while with me. Sicko.
I believe he is still confused and I put no stock in him staying here. Although he did promise he would not leave again and he knew things would be rough but he is all in. But he lies so much so for him what he says doesn't hold much with me.
He lied about ow. She has kids. I found cards they gave him for Fathers Day in his suitcase. I haven't confronted him on them yet.
We have not been physical since he's been home, and honestly that is fine with me. He still makes me want to gag right now.
He has promised to close other bank account tomorrow and said he would rather I take over the money and bills again. Good. No problem there. Considering he was giving ow and her kids his paycheck instead of taking care of his own kid. Really, what is up with that crap?

He calls and texts me constantly. I'm sure it's just guilt. Today I took our d15 shopping, getting ready for our sons wedding tomorrow, and h was at work at kept texting. I quit answering because it was annoying and then he called and wanted to know why I wasn't responding.

I don't know why he came home whether it was guilt or if he really does love me and wants to be home but is still screwed up in the head. I mean I know he's still screwed up in the head I just don't know if he actually still loves me and is trying.

He refuses to go to counseling. I have a new counselor. He said the last one was horrible and made things between us really bad. He doesn't want to talk about what's happened, although I don't know how we are supposed to get through this with no input from him or without him coming clean. Just burying it all is not good.

I've been told, and I'm hoping this is true, that he needs to reconnect first. And that happens without any remorse or discussion on what's been done for the most part. And if reconnection works then reconciliation happens and that's where the remorse and being open comes in. We'll see.

I'm doing the best I can to keep me and d15 moving forward so that no matter what happens we are in a better place.

I don't know if anyone else here has gone through this so early on and managed to get through it - if so please let me know so I can check out your thread. I would like to see how the process was for you and how you handled it.

And thanks Matt165. Your thoughts are very accurate I believe and I will be very careful and try and stay detached. Thank you so much.