WAW separation begins

[rayzzz]

Are you interested in hearing about it?

Who was she hiking with?

Why is it something she didn't do before?

I know, ????s, ????s, ????s. It just helps to fill in the gaps.

Thanks Ladbug, Lifestwist.
She never went hiking though we always talked about it....plus with the youngest being 4 thought it would not be feasible. Luckily she has her new mlc friends...
Don't really want to hear about it....can only imagine she would be with be male friends

Yes it would be a 180 not to mention it but I like your suggestion LT just to be vague and say "that's nice"

[rayzzz]

Well all that anxiety for nothing! Better practice my no expectations rule.

Turns out I wont even see my WAW after her camping trip for a couple days....so I don't plan on saying anything besides "huh..ok..fine". Now the only thing that I am going to have to detach from is how she said "well I am going to be staying over with my camping buddies place tonight" I am sure if it was a girl she would have just said so (i know STFU Rayzz you are mind reading)...I can't waste my energy on being jealous for nothing. Even if it is something there is nothing I can do about it since she doesnt consider us married at all so I will leave it alone....I will teach myself to leave it alone. Who cares? I can go camping with buddies too....ok...open beer...pour in glass....drink....repeat....
Will focus on some GAL after dropping the kids off tomorrow...probrably new library books, qigong, the gym and maybe hitting a new bike trail...haven't biked trails here ever. I promise to have something more Gal exciting next time I post

[rayzzz]

Ok my mind is all swirly about what WAW is doing with her new "camping buddies" insert anything about her new social life.

STOP sign NOW.

It doesnt matter. No more fortune telling or mindreading. The only thing that matters now is that I stay and allow my eyes to get used to the darkness...I am frackin Batman.
I work on my utility belt, study like a detective what I need to change about myself and bring my GAL to the next level (ok it sounds good but I am broke so here are some different things for me):
-meeting with some new friends at a coffee shop hang out
-trying a new university gym and pool
-new outdoor qigong is happening in the sun.yay!

[Thornton]

That obsessing will get ya every time if you let it!

Keep doing things with your friends. 90% of the time, your thoughts about WAW are wrong anyway. I know, easier said than done.

I used to think up all kinds of HORRIBLE, DETAILED scenarios in my head about WAW, who she was with, what she was doing.

[oad]

rayzzz Ive been going nutzz today too....getting my mind off things.

[rayzzz]

That obsessing will get ya every time if you let it!

Keep doing things with your friends. 90% of the time, your thoughts about WAW are wrong anyway. I know, easier said than done.

I used to think up all kinds of HORRIBLE, DETAILED scenarios in my head about WAW, who she was with, what she was doing.

Thanks Thornton, Oad.
Meeting some friends in five minutes where I am going to STFU
and empathize with whatever they are going thru.
It really is just mind tripping isn't it?
Gonna put on the Zen warrior after too...let the anxiety filled illusions go
Use my strength on making me better. Tomorrow is another day

[Thornton]

I like it, Rayzzz!

[GoatGal]

Rayzzz:

"Goatgal you win most favorite DB post of the weekend!"


YAY!!!! Glad I was able to brighten your day!


Quote from GG:
"H has been down on my Ukulele/Vocal thing since the beginning for whatever reason.

Yeah. I'm not really sure what his deal was with the Ukes.
I've been playing guitar, seriously, since I was in rompers. He always supported that. We were both playing when we met. (He is/was a bass player.)

The uke thing started three years ago now. And he seemed resentful.
Originally, he said it was the money, but I didn't spend any more money on that than he did on his hobbies (when he still had them) and I don't spend on hair/nails/fashion...
I think it was because he saw me being really happy with it, while he was feeling more and more miserable.
But I really don't know.
He did threaten one time to "throw them out the window" and when I asked him about it later, he couldn't explain this statement.


rayzzz: "Plus you sing AND play uke? Now that is a major turn on.... cause I uke (its on the cover of my cd) and I have a honkey tonk cigarbox ukulele like paw paw had in the 1920s. =D"

Hey!!! Another ukulele fan! So good to know.
What kind of music do you play? The cigar-box is a clue! I have cigar box guitar--just a cheap one. There is a festival in our town each year, so far, it's pretty small, but fun. I'd love to hear the CD.

I consider myself "Hard Core".
I'm not one of those one-finger strummers at the BBQ ("not that there's anything wrong with that!" )

I play fingerstyle traditional jazz/blues, do all my own arrangements, standards mostly, plus some originals in the same vein.
It's Django to Sidney Bechet--to Mildred Bailey, Alberta Hunter...the timeline for material stops about 1940.
My arrangements diverge quite a bit from the originals---but as the immortal Billie Holiday once said:
"I never sing a song straight."
Well, me either.
There is a lot of improvisation vocally and instrumentally.

But I love me some HOT JAZZ!
(You can keep that cool, easy listening or BeBop jazz. Because you can't dance to it!)

The vocals are along the lines of the early blues/jazz vocalists as well, with a bit of a modern flair a la Bonnie Raitt/Etta James....
I also love singing the great big band standards (take your pick from the list of "girl singers", probably Ella/Billie would top that list.)

I am very serious about it, been playing for dancers solo, and I'm hoping to do more singing with the big bands that play the dance events I attend as a dancer/instructor/DJ.


But enough about me. How about we talk about me????

Hahaha! Happy to bring a little happiness to Batman. It's so dark in that Bat Cave.



---GG

PS: "Lust for Life" has been my "theme song" for years! I'm going to work out a cool Uke version and keep you posted!

[rayzzz]

Yeah. I'm not really sure what his deal was with the Ukes.
I've been playing guitar, seriously, since I was in rompers. He always supported that. We were both playing when we met. (He is/was a bass player.)

whoa that is so cool GG! I am a kindie musician (new gen x children's musician...kindof radio head/raffi mix up)but I do have some good ballads for my WAW and other adult (PG people!) songs. People say I sound like the CRash Test Dummys guy and Darius Rucker (i always kareoke Hootie songs and get standing ovations ;D)
Yeah just started headlining some citywide events, but the life of a gigging musician is feast or famine so now I have my big boy db pants on and am looking for another p/t job to balance out my dream job (...why WAW happened...)
I play acoustic guitar and like your WAH my new GAL was taking up Bass. I LOVE it...it is such a 180 because its not "loud" and centre stage like them gui-tarz...but I am learning to be softer..and show restraint with my bass grooves. therapy for my musical soul.
Michael Buble big band music has also grown on me. Will try to dropbox share later a song or two so you can karoke to Rayzzz in the comfort of your own living room. The song will be in key of "B" so uke up your scales!

I heard Eddie Vedder (he has a great new uke album!) say:
" with the uke you are contrained with only four strings to evoke a melody or share your songs...thats why it is so beautiful"

Cool!

ok GG come up to Canada and we can get some gigs lined up cause we don't have any good jazz here at all!
=D

[rayzzz]

When I quit complaining and say either yes and no and then DO IT I grow in my manhood. This has just come to me as I am 180ing and taking back alot of responsibility for my role as a husband, father and all around good man. I come from a family of pouters and I know that griping is not attractive and helps no one.

Yesterday WAW was asking me to help look after the kids more cause she is stressing out her family. I started into (guilt)" well you know I HAVE to rebuild my life now cause..." and then I just trailed off knowing my complaining would touch a raw nerve.

Then I thought "Man the h&ll up."

so I texted her "I would like to help, what can I do" and though I wasn't there I know she softened and sent me a text that we could work on with the kids. Business and matter of fact, but she knows there i still caring involved.


I make the sacrifices to put my children's interests and well being above my own. Doesnt matter right now that WAW put me in this position. I am still dark. But I still have responsibilities and since her love language is "acts of service" I show her in an indirect way that by caring for my kids I care for her....not loud..not "look at me honey..I am taking the bullet for you!" but just doing it cause it needs to be done for my family.

So yeah gonna put the kabosh on the complaining and focus on the other decisive 4Cs around her. This makes me feel good and again I will say it. I like the new me. I am becoming a psychological, emotionally healthy gladiator so bring it!