Nero, it is always difficult dealing with a parent's death - it is good that your h wants to spend time with you and is civil.
Maybe he is working through his stuff. Although there is a script, they all walk a different path.
Still being alone at our age isn't always a lot of fun, and we have to work hard at counting our blessings. I am not sure whether I simply do not want a relationship or whether it is a response to a lack of men. I have snooped on dating websites, usually when friends are boy shopping, and haven't seen a single guy that doesn't make me want to run for the hills. If that is being 'too fussy' then I will go with that label. There seems to be a lot more choice if you are younger, but not prepared to lie about my age!
I have been trying 'mindfulnesss' or living in the moment as an antidote to periods of depression. Apparently in depression we get into a stuck mode, when we are cut off from our good memories (like the MLCer) and if we live minute by minute, it helps us out of it. It also helps us to change, because we aren't reliving old scenes, but treating the experience as a new one.
I like my mindful state, and feel more alive. Next stop meditation.
It would be good to be able to report that my xh is now a calm and sober citizen full of remorse, but sadly that would not be true.
however my youngest son just landed a great job against stiff competition
