I have read and re read your posts and GG's, they are becoming my mantra, I have 39 years of patterning to break and i'm sure eventually I will get there, I have sandi's rules up where only I can see them and also read them daily. the twins are generally ok, they are just three and have each other, though they know daddy has a new house, they know we love them, they do get distressed when it's time to come home to my place, I think because they see dad's place as a new thing, a novelty and also because dad is seen as more "fun" I am worried about our eldest son, he is 7, incredibly intelligent and doesn't miss a thing, in all that is going on, he has not asked a single question. my mum tried talking to him last night, just some gentle questions while they were palying and he got quite distressed and told her he didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to push him, but I want him to understand that its ok to be confused, I am seeing my therapist next week and i'm going to ask her if she can recommend someone for him to talk to. It breaks my heart that they have to go through this. and I do my utmost to wait until they are not here or are in bed before I fall apart or need to cry, I never put their dad down, and I tell them all the time that we both love them to the moon and back.
I am really hoping my db and dr books arrive this week, I also ordered the 5 love languages, I am an avid reader so these will dog eared in no time I'm sure.
I know I sound completely defeated, most days I'm ok, but I get a flash of 'how did I get here'
I need a plan of attack, I feel I'm floating, I like to be organised by nature, and I write list so I can cross off what I've achieved. should I be doing that with db/dr? I wish I could afford one of the coaches but it really is feasible for me right now.
